W.D.J.D. - What DID Jesus Do? He Defended the Mirror of His Love
2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
3 “What did Moses command you?” he replied.
4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
13 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.
What are the earthly topics that you are most passionate about? What’s that topic, that when the conversation turns in that direction, your eyes light up a little bit? We all have them. For some of us it may be a field of study that we have spent time in and become knowledgeable about. For others maybe it’s a hobby of ours… hunting, fishing, sports, video games, music, or politics… For others, maybe it’s something that’s become a significant part of our lives like our children. Go ahead and take a few seconds and bring to the forefront of your mind those earthly topics that you are passionate about.
Now, with those things in mind, I want to ask you a question: How do you feel when people attack those things that you are most passionate about? It doesn’t feel good, does it? In fact, if you’re passionate enough—if you care deeply enough—about the topic being attacked, our natural inclination is going to be to defend that topic. In a way, when someone attacks something we care about, it’s almost like they’re attacking a little piece of us. And we don’t have to feel bad about that, there’s a proper way to go about defending the topics we care about.
Today we see Jesus defend something that he is very passionate about. He defends marriage. The question that we’re going to ask and answer today is this: Why is marriage so important to God? Why is Jesus so passionate about marriage that he is eager to stand up and defend it when it’s being attacked? By way of preparing ourselves to answer those questions, we have to first take a few minutes to figure out what is going on in the scene we have before us in Mark chapter 10.
So some Pharisees come to Jesus and ask him if it’s okay for a man to divorce his wife. And if you know anything about the Pharisees coming to Jesus, they often come to Jesus with the intention of trapping him and finding something they can use against him. So here’s what the Pharisees are bringing to the table as they try to trap Jesus. They’re referring to a passage in Deuteronomy 24 where Moses told the Israelites it was okay to for a man to write a letter of divorce and send his wife away if it was found that she had something shameful—and the word used for shameful has sexual and adulterous connotations to it.
So because of this verse, there had become a division amongst the Pharisees. Some followed the line of thinking that the only reason a man could divorce his wife was because of moral indecency. Others believed that a man could rightfully divorce his wife based on anything that was displeasing to him. So the Pharisees come to Jesus, assuming that he would side with one side or the other, and in doing so, they would have an opportunity to criticize him.
But little did they know… they were getting into a topic that Jesus was very passionate about. And so we see him defend the topic. He starts off by telling them they’re all wrong. Their entire attitude about marriage and divorce is misplaced. Their hearts are in the wrong place as they ask this question. He tells them that the only reason Moses had given this law is the first place was because their hearts were hard. Then he points back to creation where God instituted marriage. Then later, still fired up about the same topic, he tells the disciples that anyone who divorces and remarries is guilty of committing adultery.
We need to pause here, and talk about this whole interaction for just a minute because divorce is a sensitive topic. Even some of us in this room may have been through a divorce at some point so it’s worthwhile to understand what Jesus is and isn’t saying here. We’re not here today to heap guilt on and point the finger at those who have been through a divorce or those going through a divorce. Divorce is a complicated and messy thing. And while we know that God upholds and values marriage, we also know that in Scripture he gives us some legitimate situations in which divorce is an option. When it comes to things like infidelity, or abandonment, or abuse, then there may be a legitimate reason for divorce….Those are things that have to be thought through when the time comes and it’s never easy.
But Jesus doesn’t mention those things here today. The reason he doesn’t is because he is responding to the cultural sentiment of the day that marriage is a disposable thing. Take it or leave it—stay married or get divorced… not a big deal. And in responding to that sentiment, Jesus comes down hard. Marriage IS important. And when we begin to treat marriage and divorce like they’re bargaining chips we can exercise whenever we want, then there’s a problem.
So there’s the background for our text. Now that we understand what’s going on with the Pharisees, and why Jesus responds the way he does… I want to shift our attention back to that question we’re asking today. Why is marriage so important to God? Why do we see Jesus get so passionate about the topic of marriage in this exchange with the Pharisees? There’s a good chance we’ve heard a couple of the more common answers. That’s not to say that there’s anything wrong with them… they’re all true and important. It’s important to remember that God instituted marriage at the creation of the world. That’s a part of why marriage is valuable to him. It’s important to remember that God tells us in Scripture that marriage is to be lifelong union between a man and a woman. It’s important to remember that God tells us he hates divorce—especially when it takes place outside the permissible circumstances he has laid out for us.
None of those reasons are unimportant. But there’s a reason why marriage is a passionate topic for God and for Jesus that we don’t do a great job of speaking about. And when we don’t do a good job of speaking about it, we really are only hurting ourselves because it is a beautiful and gospel-centered truth. And since it’s a gospel-centered truth, rather than simply tell us to uphold marriage because God says that’s what we should do, it inspires us to uphold and value marriage. So here it is, the reason God the Father and God the Son are so passionate about the topic of marriage is because marriage is a concrete example that God has given us of Christ’s love for us.
God had Paul put it all together for us in Ephesians 5: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”
How difficult it is for us to truly understand and comprehend Christ’s love for us—his church. Sure we believe the truths, and we confess them… Christ loved us so much that he was willing to die on the cross for us. Christ loved his church so deeply that—innocent though he was—he was willing undergo immense physical and spiritual torture for the church. But when we really stop and ponder those truths—who among us can really understand the depth of Christ’s love for us? A love like that is foreign to us. Who in their right mind would give everything for nothing? Who in their right mind would give up everything for someone who hates them? Who in their right mind would give up what they rightly deserve so that someone who in no way deserves it might have it?
In marriage, God gave us a place to practice and mirror that self-sacrificial love of Christ. When it comes to earthly examples of Christ’s love for us, a loving, Christ-centered marriage is as close as it can get. When spouses love one another and put one another’s needs before their own we get a glimpse of the depth of Christ’s love for us. When spouses are eager to sacrifice and yield to one another in love, we get a picture of Christ’s love for the church.
Gentlemen, what would it look like if you were to love your wives like Christ loved the church? Everything Christ did, he did for the church. Every thought. Every word. Every action of Christ. He did it all with the church in mind. He went so far as to carry his cross and die, on behalf of the church. He put himself last, and you, the church, first.
Ladies, what would it look like if you were to love your husbands as the church loves Christ? Indeed, unlike Christ, your husbands are not perfect. But, they have been clothed in Christ’s perfection. And with your gentle support and love and humility, you inspire them to be more like Christ every day.
And for those of us who aren’t married… I wouldn’t want us to think there’s no application here for us… should we not strive to live this way in all of our interactions? Of course we should. May we seek to treat one another as we ourselves have been treated by Christ.
Why was Jesus so passionate about the topic of marriage here in Mark 10? Because wrapped up in marriage, is a picture of his love for us.
What DID Jesús do? He defended the mirror of his love… that is to say, he defended marriage. And one of the most significant reasons he feels so strongly about marriage is because, wrapped up in marriage, is a picture of his love for us, his church. May he strengthen us to also defend marriage, for when we do so, it’s not just some abstract concept that we’re defending… rather it’s Christ’s love itself. Amen? Amen.